In which I drown Frederico in a volcanic lake

On Friday we accepted a ride from the now infamous Frederico and took a short day trip to Bolsena Lake. It was gorgeous—blue water, volcanic ridges in the distance, sail boats, large tan women obstructing your every photograph… Absolute loveliness.

 

This woman literally felt the need to obstruct my every photo.

But we all know how Frederico rolls now... He must destroy loveliness.

Here are some transcripts of lake-side conversation, courtesy of my secretary. Be sure to read Frederico’s voice with a heavy accent.

Frederico: Where in the United States are you from?

Me: Alabama.

Frederico: Do you have shoes there?

Me: Yes.

Frederico: Electricity?

Frederico: What do you study?

Me: Creative Writing.

Frederico: So you are not very smart?

Me: What do you study?

Frederico: Japanese.

Me: Oh, interesting? What got you interested in Japan?

Frederico: Porn.

I guess technically I could have cropped her out of this one, but why.

It was conversations like this that made us wonder why he had been so willing to give up his Friday to escort us to the lake. But despite these moments in which I wanted to bury Frederico’s face in the black volcanic sand, we actually had a very nice day laying out, throwing the frisbee, and sipping prosecco in the shade. Italy continues to be a big ol' cup of chamomile tea for the soul.

PS. Here's the random little girl that just sat down next to me at San Marco.

Insta friends! (I think.) She said something to me but I couldn't understand her.